It just doesn't add up right...

From elementary school on, math has been my nemesis. I've always been an alpha-oriented person. Numbers are not my friends - words are - I'm a librarian for Pete's sake! Thank goodness I'm a law librarian. No Dewey Decimals necessary. So, while wallowing in the throes of this head cold the last 4 days (there's that number thing), it has not helped that mathematics seem to be closing in from everywhere and my house-quarantined mind is the victim. It began with medications. TheraFlu directions instruct the user to "take every 4 hours; not to exceed 6 packets in 24 hours...Adults and children 12 years of age...dissolve contents of 1 packet in 8 oz. hot water..." Mercifully that has now been replaced with the minimal instruction on the bottle of doctor-prescribed Rx - "1 tablet 2 times a day." But there remains a litany of statistical questions that march through my head (you may call it Cabin Fever - I prefer to call it Math Fever.) For instance, how many tissues does it take in the course of a severe cold for a person's head to stop feeling the size of a Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade balloon? Or, if there is a sustained sneeze attack for 5 minutes and an oxygen-deprivation of equal length, how many minutes will it take the sneezer (sneezee??) to fall out in exhaustion? And here's a new math theory I've been testing: 15 chest-wracking coughs times 1 puny body equals 1 sick chick. See? No escaping the dreaded numbers! Is it any wonder that I am actually anxious to return to work at this point? Being surrounded by a library full of law books and computers (with words!) sounds like a vacation compared to rain all day, near freezing temperatures, tissues, sneezing, coughing, and Math Fever. It is 4PM (those numbers again) and time for a hot cup of Numi (NOT to be confused with Number) Mate' Lemon Myrtle Green Tea. The South American rainforest Mate' leaf is supposed to be prized for its "pleasantly stimulating effect and for evoking a cheerful mental lucidity." Sounds good to me!!